Much confusion persists regarding the institution of Mamzeirut, illegitimacy, in Torah law.  Let us briefly outline the basic points and try to achieve some clarification.  

The Torah (Devarim 22:3) states, “A Mamzer shall not come into the congregation of Hashem.” The Mishnah and Gemara set forth the details of implementing this Halachah.

What is and is Not a Mamzer?

Halachah considers a child a Mamzer only if he is the result of a relationship punishable by Karet. An exception to this rule is a child born from a woman with the status of Niddah. In addition, unlike other law systems, the Torah does not consider a child born from an unmarried man and an unmarried woman as illegitimate, so long as the relationship is not incestuous.  

What are the Implications of Being a Mamzer?

A Mamzer cannot marry almost all Jews; they may only wed other Mamzerim. They cannot marry into the “mainstream” Kehilah.  It is noteworthy to clarify that a Mamzer is not an outcast from Torah society; he is only restricted about whom he is permitted to marry (Yevamot 22b).  The Sefer HaChinuch (560) writes: “But to reside in any Jewish community and be fully involved in all communal matters is entirely permissible [for the Mamzer] just as any other Jew.  Chazal already taught (Horayot 13a) that a Mamzer who is a Torah scholar is called to the Torah before an ignorant Kohen.”  

Classic Examples of Mamzerim 

Unlike other Halachic situations deemed strictly hypothetical by some opinions that appear in the Gemara (Sanhedrin 71a), it is clear that Mamzerut is unfortunately not one of those elusive impossibilities but rather a concrete reality.  We know that in Talmudic times, people were assigned the status of a mamzer.  For example, the Mishnah records Rabbi Shimon ben Azzai as testifying, “I found a genealogical scroll in Jerusalem, in which was written: So-and-so is a Mamzer born from a married woman [to a man other than her husband]” (Yevamot 4:13).

Contemporary Examples of Mamzerim

Unfortunately, the problem of Mamzeirut persists to our days.  Sadly, it is more significant in recent generations due to the tragic defection from tradition by too many Jews.  

For example, in 1990, I was on a second date with a woman recommended by a prominent rabbi.  We were driving in Brooklyn, and suddenly she mentioned that she was a child from her mother’s second marriage and her mother never received a Get from her first husband! So, naturally, that raised the fear of Mamzeirut!

This event launched my passion and my joining the ranks of Mesadrei Gittin, who make every effort to ensure that all divorcing Jews receive a kosher Get.  My biggest passion is Gittin for non-Orthodox Jews because they often do even know about a Get and its importance.  They need our help and outreach.

Very often, there are solutions to Mamzeirut concerns.  For example, American Dayyanim often explore if the mother’s first marriage constitutes a valid Kiddushin.  It is widely accepted to follow Rav Moshe Feinstein’s rulings that most non-Orthodox wedding ceremonies are invalid.  In the end, the conclusion to most potential situations of Mamzeirut is that the individual is not a Mamzer.  

However, not every story has a happy ending.  For example, a man reached out to me saying he needed a Get because he was about to remarry, and the rabbi officiating was not willing to serve without the groom giving a Get to his first wife. 

It turned out the ex-wife remarried. So we executed the Get through Shelichut (agency) with the husband appointing me as his Shaliach to deliver the Get to his first wife. The husband told the Sofer to write a Get, Eidim to sign it, and me to give the Get.  The gentleman then left.

About fifteen minutes later, while the scribe wrote the Get, the wife arrived with her new husband and their little child! And she was pregnant! 

I sat down, trying to control myself, put on my best “poker face,” and began asking for information. I asked what sort of rabbi officiated at her first wedding, and she proudly said it was an Orthodox rabbi. A look of horror passed over my face as I valiantly tried to maintain composure. I then wrote a note on her certificate stating that more research was needed about the status of the children in her second marriage, and I sent her on her way.

Partnering with Hashem to Prevent Mamzeirut 

A gentleman who works in the Gittin field once explained to me why he never donates his time to Gittin. He told me, “I am not Hashem’s policeman.”  I was horrified by the response. A fundamental Torah idea is our partnering with Hashem (Shabbat 10a). A central difference between Noach and Avraham Avinu is that Noach viewed himself only as an employee of Hashem, unlike Avraham Avinu, who saw himself as a partner with Hashem.  As such, we are very much supposed to partner with Hashem to ensure every divorcing Jewish couple has a Get to avoid issues of Mamzeirut. I testify that Hashem does His part in the partnership as well! 

Great Mesadrei Gittin, such as Rav Nota Greenblatt, Rav Yirmiyahu Benyowitz, Rav Mendel Senderovic, and Rav Shmuel Khoshkermann, donate their time and even pay for Gittin when necessary and appropriate.  They all report that whenever they work for free or pay to complete Gittin, their Partner - Hashem - repays them for their kindness.

I have experienced this stunning phenomenon more than once.  For example, one Friday in May 2022, I donated about one thousand dollars worth of my services to complete two very challenging Gittin.  Upon returning home, I discovered a check that had just arrived for one thousand dollars!  A partnership with Hashem, indeed!

Why Punish the Child?  

Mamzerut seems grossly unfair.  As a result of a parent’s illicit relations, the child suffers undeserved consequences to the extent that he is forbidden to marry most members of the Jewish community.  

The Midrash (VaYikra Rabbah 32:8) represents the Mamzer legitimately complaining to Hashem about his status acquired due to no sin of his own.  The Midrash sees a reference to the Mamzer’s anguish in Kohelet (4:1): “and behold the tears of such as were oppressed, and they had no comforter.”  The Sanhedrin is viewed as the oppressors because they follow the Torah’s mandate, “A Mamzer shall not come into the congregation of Hashem.”  The Midrash continues, “What is this person’s sin, and why should his father’s actions concern him?  And yet the Mamzer has no one to comfort him.”  God proclaims: “I will comfort him.  It is only in this world that he is disqualified.  In the world of truth, it will be different.  I am with him in his suffering here and will be with him then as well.”

Three Explanations for Mamzeirut

While the Midrash validates the Mamzeir’s complaint, it does not explain why the children of a forbidden liaison are punished for their parents' sins.

The Chizkuni to Devarim 23:3 notes that Mamzeirut applies only when there is a punishment of Karet (excision) involved.  Since this child was created through a Karet relationship, the child is cut off from the nation.  Accordingly, Mamzeirut is an extension of the Karet upon the parents.[1]

Mamzeirut also generates reverence for family, the most critical institution in Jewish life.  Mamzeirut emphasizes the seriousness and severity of the status of an Eishet Ish (a married woman).  Disaster lurks for one who lacks profound respect and reverence for the institution of the family!

Finally, the Gemara (Bava Batra 73b) relates a story of a group of Jews on a boat who saw a whale covered in sand that they thought was an island. The whale jumped up, and they nearly drowned. Had their boat not been close by to save them, they would have drowned. Similarly, the only hope for someone distanced from Torah observance is to not stray too far from the boat of the Torah.  Otherwise, they will not be able to get back on the ship!

In my thirty years as a Get administrator, I have seen how the threat of Mamzeirut keeps many Jews from straying too far from the “Torah boat.”  I have administered many Gittin for non-observant couples for whom a Get was their only connection with an Orthodox rabbi in their lives.  The looming threat of Mamzeirut keeps such partially estranged Jews from straying so far from the “Torah boat” that they no longer have the ability to reboard the boat.  Mamzeirut happens when people stray so far from Torah that they either do not care or do not know of the threat of Mamzeirut.

The following story demonstrates how Mamzeirut motivates Jews not to stray too far from the Torah boat.  Many years ago, I administered a Get where the husband was a Conservative Rabbi, and the wife was a Reform Rabbi. The husband wanted a Conservative Get, and the wife wanted an Orthodox Get.  The wife wanted to ensure that the children she would have from a future husband could marry within the Orthodox community. So she sought and succeeded in allowing her children to reboard the boat.

Conclusion

Mamzeirut is a bitter pill to swallow in theory and practice.  However, Mamzeirut is a potent medicine necessary to preserve the integrity of the family and Torah.  While Mamzeirut exacts a steep price, the resulting benefits are priceless and worth the sacrifice.  Mamzeirut imposes a responsibility on parents, Get administrators, and the broader Jewish community.   One thing for sure is that Hashem reciprocates to those who make to partner with Him to make exceptional efforts to avoid the catastrophe of Mamzeirut. 

[1]  The Chizkuni’s approach fits well with Rav Moshe Feinstein’s ruling (Teshuvot Igrot Moshe Even Ha’Ezer 1:10 and 71) that a child from a married woman who was artificially inseminated with donor sperm is not a Mamzer.  Rav Moshe insists that Mamzeirut is created only from relations for which there is a punishment of Karet.