At the very beginning of Parashat VaYigash the confrontation between Yoseif and his brothers comes to a climax. Yehudah stands facing Yoseif. On one side of this encounter is Yoseif, who is now second in command and in charge of the economic well-being of Mitzrayim. On the other stands Yehudah, the leader among the brothers — the one who is willing to give up his freedom to protect Binyamin and keep his promise to his father. Both Yoseif and Yehudah are impressive leaders with great potential. In addition, due to the birth order of their family, they are both in line to be leaders. Re’uvein, the first born, was disqualified because of the incident where he inappropriately moved his father’s bed. Shimon and Levi became unfit due to the episode with the people of Shechem. This leaves Yehudah next in line as the oldest worthy son to become leader. Additionally, Yoseif, the Bechor of Rachel, is also well suited to become a leader. 

However, despite both of them being eligible to become leader, only one, along with his descendants,  becomes the true and eternal leader of the Jewish people. Ultimately, Yehudah is the one chosen to be the rightful king of Bnei Yisrael. The question is why. Why is Yehudah chosen over Yoseif? What is so unique about his qualities and experiences that deem him more worthy than Yoseif? 

Rabbi Lamm ZTZ”L answers this question and, in doing so, teaches us an important attribute a leader must possess. First, we must examine the journey Yoseif and Yehudah each go through which results in them becoming leaders. 

When Yoseif arrives in Mitzrayim, he is at the bottom. He was recently sold into slavery by his brothers and has absolutely nothing. Yet, almost instantly, he is able to turn everything around and rise to the top. He becomes the head of Potiphar's household. Then, after being falsely accused of sleeping with Potiphar’s wife, he is sent to jail — the lowest of places. However, in spite of this second hard fall, Yoseif, again, rises to the top. He is appointed the supervisor of the jail. He does all of this without struggle or misstep. Eventually, Yoseif reaches the heights of power — the second in command to the king. 

When looking at the ups and downs Yoseif experiences to reach this position of power, one clearly notices the ease with which Yoseif accomplishes this. It can almost be described as a magic touch. In every situation he is placed in, he is able to gain the respect and trust of everyone around him. This begs the question even further. If Yoseif possesses these almost magical leadership skills, he should be the one chosen as the leader and king of Bnei Yisrael.

To answer this question, Rabbi Lamm points to this exact quality of Yoseif to explain why he could not be the leader of Bnei Yisrael. Yoseif doesn’t fully know what it is like to be mired in a difficult situation for an extended period of time. Despite experiencing great challenges, he is able to quickly and effortlessly rise above them. Yehudah, on the other hand, does not possess this charisma, and has difficulty removing himself from challenging situations. Unlike Yoseif, he is flawed. First, Yehudah is the one to suggest selling Yoseif to the Yishma’eilim. His sense of morality is not fully developed. Later, Yehudah separates himself from his brothers and gets entangled in the incident with Tamar. However, in spite of these two substantial mistakes, he does Teshuvah and works his way back up. He faces significant challenges in his life and is able to overcome them. Yehudah is chosen as the leader of the Jewish people because despite his flaws and personal struggles, he is able to conquer them. A leader must know what it means to struggle and nevertheless succeed. A leader must be relatable to the people who are inevitably imperfect. This way, the people can aspire to achieve what he has achieved without being discouraged or intimidated by him. This is the reason Yoseif was not fit to become Melech Yisrael. He was not relatable to the average person; he was almost too perfect. He did not fully know what it was like to have to work hard to overcome challenges. 

Hopefully, we can all emulate Yehudah — not to be intimidated by our struggles and weaknesses, but rather overcome them and rise to great heights.