(2007/5768)

The Mishnah Berurah (introduction to 581) quotes two hints to the efficacy of Elul as a time for Teshuvah.  The first is the celebrated Pasuk, “Ani LeDodi VeDodi Li,” “I am to my Beloved (Hashem) as my Beloved is to me” (Shir HaShirim 6:3).  The acronym formed by the first letter of each word in this phrase is “Elul” (Alef Lamed Vav Lamed).  Additionally, each word in this phrase ends with a Yud.  The numerical value of Yud is ten, making a total of forty among all four words, which hints to the forty days - thirty of Elul and the Aseret Yemei Teshuvah - in which Hashem is “closer” to us.  During this time, our Teshuvah is more easily accepted.

The second hint is the Pasuk, “UMal Hashem Elokecha Et Levavecha VeEt Levav Zarecha,” “And Hashem your God will circumcise your heart and the heart of your offspring” (Devarim 30:6).  The acronym of the words “Et Levavcha VeEt Levav” again yields “Elul,” indicating that this is a time when we can cleanse ourselves of past misdeeds and can turn over a new leaf.

We hear this message over and over again, year in and year out.  Sometimes we feel inspired to change.  We take upon ourselves a new practice; we tell ourselves we will daven with Kavanah, come to shul on time, go to an extra Shiur, etc.  Yet, oftentimes, these resolves weaken and fail as the Yamim Noraim fade into the past, and, next time Elul rolls around, we discover that we are quite the same as last year. What is it that holds us back, causing us to stagnate?  How can we avoid being caught in the morass of habit and truly change for the better?

There is a third, lesser known hint to Elul which can perhaps shed light on this question - “Ish LeRei’eihu UMatanot LaEvyonim,” “[And sending gifts] a man to his friend and presents to the poor” (Esther 9:22).  The acronym of the first letters of these words is again “Elul.”  Unlike the two previous hints, which dealt with matters Bein Adam LaMakom (between man and Hashem), this allusion relates to the importance of solving problems of Aveirot Bein Adam LaChaveiro, sins between man and his fellow man.  These issues are, it seems, often marginalized during Elul.  The focus is always on improving in learning, davening, etc.  But perhaps we should instead focus on interpersonal matters, which, paradoxically, are often much more flagrant violations than those between man and Hashem.  An Aveirah between man and man is a double wrong; it is against Hashem’s will, and it also harms another person.  It is the Lashon HaRa, Onaat Devarim (teasing), and the like which have to be dealt with.

How does focusing on interpersonal Aveirot help us make real, lasting changes?  I once heard a Shiur from a Rav in Yerushalayim, who noted that there are two ways by which a person can raise his spiritual level.  “Mi Yaaleh BeHar Hashem, UMi Yakum BiMkom Kodsho,” “Who can ascend Hashem’s mountain, and who can stand in His holy place?” (Tehillim 24:3) is David HaMelech’s query.  A person can ascend; he can jump and grab on to something and try to hold himself up for as long as he can.  If he tries this method, though, eventually he will fall back to the ground, because the air is not his natural place.  He will not be able to “stand in His holy place” for very long.  On the other hand, a person could simply raise the floor.  So doing, he would permanently uplift his own level, because his baseline, the lowest he can fall, has been raised.  He cannot fall back to his prior state, because the floor saves him.  Such a person will be able to stand in Hashem’s holy place. 

This is the key to Elul.  The way to improve is not to take on an extra improvement and attempt to hold on to it for as long as possible.  This method fails frequently.  Trying to live on a higher spiritual level than one is truly at puts too much of a strain on him; the contradiction between his true self and how he is attempting to live will eventually force something to give.  All too often, the resolution to maintain a new practice yields in the face of adversity.  The proper way to improve, then, is to clean up the garbage.  Taking upon oneself to stop doing something which is incorrect - to avoid Lashon HaRa, to refrain from making fun of a friend, and so on - is the most effective way to bring about lasting change.  By raising his spiritual baseline, a person can, with care, create an environment conducive to growth.  The spiritual contamination a person removes from his soul is commensurate with how much Kedushah he can bring into it.  For example, the less Lashon HaRa a person speaks, the more he will be able to learn and absorb Torah properly, for the mouth which is used to denigrate others cannot simultaneously be used to speak the Devar Hashem.  In the Chafetz Chaim’s parable, even the most talented and creative craftsman cannot make a vessel using broken or bent tools.  Once a person clears out spiritual filth, he can take upon himself the likes of more learning or better davening.

Of course, we must be careful.  A person cannot simply declare, “I will never speak Lashon HaRa again” and expect to succeed in his resolution.  He has bitten off more than he can chew.  Rather, a person should take small steps which, over time, will help him eradicate the particular Aveirah he seeks to destroy.  The Chafetz Chaim gives several less onerous ways to avoiding Lashon HaRa (Shemirat HaLashon, Shaar HaTevunah, chapter 4).  For example, one could fulfill the Mitzvah DeOraita of “BeTzedek Tishpot Amitecha,” “Judge your fellow with righteousness” (VaYikra 19:15), which Chazal interpret as a mandate to give others the benefit of the doubt.  If a person generally assumes that what he perceives others doing wrong may in fact be based on conjecture or subjective interpretation - if one considers that the “sinner” probably had a valid reason for doing what he did - then he will be less inclined to speak disparagingly of people, since he does not have anything disparaging to say.  There are similar suggestions which can be implemented to help deal with many Aveirot.  Learning the Halachot relating to any Aveirah we want to avoid is a must; how can one avoid an Aveirah if he doesn’t know what precisely constitutes a violation of the Aveirah? 

If this is in fact the way to improve, why do we usually avoid it?  The sad truth is that it is much harder to clean up a mess than to reach for the stars.  It seems so much more “fulfilling” to take on extra learning than to refrain from speaking Lashon HaRa.  Both are important, but the latter is much harder.  It involves sacrificing the potential enjoyment of having a carefree conversation with anyone about anything.  We thus fall into the trap of trying to become people we are not instead of trying to change into the people we can be.

Most of the garbage to be cleaned up involves these interpersonal Aveirot.  Most of us don’t have as hard a time with keeping Shabbat, Kashrut and Shaatneiz as we do with refraining from Lashon HaRa.  Undoubtedly, there are sins between man and Hashem which also can be included under the rubric of cleaning up spiritual waste; talking during davening, about which the Shulchan Aruch (O.C. 124:7) says very harsh things, and Bittul Torah, to name but two.  But the great majority, in one way or another, is connected to interpersonal Aveirot like Lashon HaRa.  This is the message of the third acronym of Elul- the Bein Adam LaChaveiro is of equal, if not greater, importance during this time of reflection and Teshuvah.

We read Sefer Yonah as the Haftarah at Mincha on Yom Kippur.  Right before the climax of the day, Tefillat Ne’ilah, the message of this Sefer apparently is what we need to hear.  What is this message?  The Chafetz Chaim (Shaar HaTziyun 622:6) explains that Yonah teaches us that we cannot shirk our responsibilities.  Yonah repeatedly tried to avoid relaying Hashem’s message to the people of Ninveih, and each time Hashem foiled his attempt to flee.  In the waning moments of Yom Kippur, one is to reflect - what does Hashem want me to do?  Am I really doing my best to do Hashem’s bidding, or am I trying to avoid my task?  Just as Yonah was punished for trying to shirk his mission, so too we will not be let off the hook for ignoring our respective jobs.  Our task during Elul and the Yamim Noraim is to take stock of our lives and to seize the wonderful opportunity for Teshuvah that this time presents.  The trail is long, but, as Chazal (Avot 2:19 and 21) assure us, our Employer can be trusted to pay us for our labor.