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This week we begin reading the fourth sefer of the Torah, BeMidbar. Chazal call Sefer Bamidbar, “Chumash HaPekudim,” the book of counting or census, due to the two major censuses conducted within it, one in our parsha, and the other in Parshas Pinchas.
Why are there two? The first one takes place, according to the opening pasuk of the parasha, “b’echad lachodesh hashenibashana hashenis l’tzaysam may’eretz Mitzrayim”(Bamidbar 1:1), just about a year into Bnei Yisrael’s sojourn in the wilderness. The second occurs toward the end of the forty years in the desert, as Bnei Yisrael prepared to enter the land. It’s not at all repetitive, as these are two different populations being counted. As a consequence of the Chet HaMeraglim, the generation that had escaped slavery had to die out completely before Bnei Yisrael could proceed to their new life, as a settled nation bound by all of the laws of the Torah and being sustained not by daily miracles of mon and water and clouds to protect and guide them, but by their own labors.
The two censuses in the Midbar were each an accounting in the literal sense, as all of the military age adult males from each tribe were counted up. But in Judaism, there is also a metaphorical sense of the word accounting, a “Cheshbon Hanefesh.” We have this built into our annual calendar, as the month of Elul comes with its reminders to engage in teshuvah ahead of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, the time period of divine judgment. During Elul and Aseret Y’may Teshuvah, one looks at one’s own behavior over the course of a year, counting up the good and the bad deeds, and thinks about how one can improve in the course of the year ahead.
There is a lesson in the fact that accounting is commanded at two major turning points in the life of the nation, one after emancipation from slavery and receiving the Torah, and the other just before starting new lives in Eretz Yisrael. We too should take stock of our lives in a bigger picture way, measure our progress, set our goals, and hold ourselves accountable when we reach major turning points in life.
Where do you see yourself in five years or ten years is not just a clichéd job interview question. It’s a question you should be able to answer, and you should compare your answer today with where you actually are when those five or ten years are up. It’s not that goals and objectives don’t change or that good or bad luck doesn’t intervene and sweep you into a different direction. That’s part of life too. You may judge yourself favorably or unfavorably when doing that accounting, but it’s important to at least have a standard by which to judge. What are your goals? What are your priorities? What kind of person do you want to be? Are you fulfilling your potential? Are you making a positive impact on the lives of others? These answers to these questions are hard to find on a day-to-day basis but sometimes become clearer at major turning points, when one phase of life is ending and a new one begins, whether you are a graduating senior or just finishing one grade and beginning the next. Shabbat Shalom.