From Gold to Gold: Resolving the Sin of the Golden Calf By Nachi Scheiner (‘22)
2022/5782
He picked up the glass; it was water. Staring into the glass, he realized that the same water used to gruesomely drown hundreds of innocent people in the Holocaust also provides the much-needed sustenance to myriads of humans. Although it isn't the only example, water depicts the dual nature of an object, trait, or attitude.
With the principle laid out above, we may explain an obscure Midrash. The Midrash states:
“אמר הקב"ה לישראל בשעה שעשיתם את העגל הכעסתם אותי באלה אלהיך, עכשיו שעשיתם המשכן באלה אני מתרצה לכם הוי אלה פקודי המשכן, אמר הקב"ה לישראל בעוה"ז באלה נתרציתי לכם וכן לעתיד לבא,” “Hashem said to Israel when they made the calf, ‘you have angered me with these gods.’ Now, since you built the Mishkan, I forgive you (referring to the first Pasuk of the Parashah). I forgive you for this world and for the future" (Shemot Rabbah 51:8).
At first glance, this Midrash is startling. What is the connection between the Golden Calf and the building of the Mishkan? Why does the construction of the Mishkan atone for the sin of the calf?
Rav Preil (Sefer HaMe'or Parashat Pekudei) elaborates that the Midrash is founded upon the dual capabilities of our actions and tendencies. Rav Preil explains that the ultimate sin, the Cheit Ha'Eigel, which affects and partly causes all of the sins since the Golden Calf, was caused by Bnei Yisrael's quick, unthinking nature. Immediately upon receiving the [false] news of Moshe's passing, Bnei Yisrael quickly sprung up and filled his place with "אלה אלהיך," "the Golden Calf" (Shemot 32:4). After realizing their egregious error and enduring severe punishments, Bnei Yisrael repented. However, their Teshuvah wasn't entirely accepted (at least according to this Midrash) until the erecting of the Mishkan. The same hastiness that caused the sin of the Golden Calf was now being used to contribute large quantities of gold and silver with extreme hastiness [to the point where Moshe had to halt their donations]. Bnei Yisrael used the same trait that caused them to sin to ultimately fulfill Hashem's will to the utmost degree. Hashem bestowed numerous capabilities and talents upon every one of us, both as individuals and as a collective whole; it is up to us how we utilize these amazing gifts.
Additionally, Rav Elchanan Wasserman (Kovetz Ma'amarim on Emunah entry 5) explains that sin arises from thinking we know better. Sometimes we believe that we understand what should be done, which ultimately leads to us making mistakes and sinning. Therefore, the ultimate way of achieving atonement is to Mevatel (nullify) ourselves to Hashem and realize that Hashem controls everything. Our purpose of fulfilling His will is the apex of Teshuvah. The Beit HaLevi (Al HaTorah; Ki Tisa 31:13) explains the nature of Bnei Yisrael's sin at the Golden Calf. Bnei Yisrael realized that their immediate and constant connection to Hashem was no longer with them, and they now needed a new way of having Hashra’at HaShechinah, the dwelling of the divine presence. Of their own volition, Bnei Yisrael decided that the best way to accomplish this was to build the calf. Despite their virtuous intentions, Bnei Yisrael chose to act, not based on what the Torah (and by extension, Hashem) commanded, but instead on their own intuition. This choice led to the disastrous sin of the Golden Calf. However, Bnei Yisrael achieved atonement at the moment of "אלה פקודי," "These are the records [of the Mishkan]" (Shemot 38:21). Bnei Yisrael's complete cooperation and fulfillment of whatever Hashem commanded them to build, even if it did not make sense to them, was the ultimate act of nullification to Hashem.
This notion may explain one of the most perplexing aspects of one of the holiest days. On Yom Kippur, we take a goat, and instead of offering it as a sacrifice to Hashem, we send it off a cliff to one of the ministering angels known as Azazel (Ramban Acharei Mot 16:8). As long as one does Teshuvah, this act is known to bring atonement, whether for light or severe sins (Rambam Hilchot Teshuvah 1:2). One may be bothered by the fact that this highly significant act breaches upon the strict prohibition of Avoda Zarah. We are allowed to offer sacrifices only to Hashem, not an angel or other form of deity! Despite this, we send the goat off the cliff in the act of potential Avoda Zarah as the ultimate form of Teshuvah. By sending this goat off the cliff, we demonstrate that, according to our understanding, we should not be performing this ritual; however, since you, Hashem, commanded us to do so, we are eager and ready to fulfill your will. The nature of sin arises from too much self-reliance, and the foundation of our relationship with Hashem rests upon our nullification of this feeling.
Interestingly, the Rambam (Hilchot Teshuvah 2:1) writes that one performs complete Teshuvah when he is placed in the same situation as he sinned before and this time refrains from sinning. One may explain this Halacha in regards to the ability for one to show that he has conquered his evil inclination to the fullest extent and no longer stumbles in the same situation. However, one may still wonder why it specifically needs to be in the same situation. Why can't he just refrain from sinning to achieve complete atonement? It may be that when originally sinning, this individual forefronted his desires and wishes before Hashem's will, and the only way to fully repent from his erroneous thought process is to place himself in the same position and this time acknowledge Hashem's will. Psychologists teach that one may describe how one would act in a given situation. Still, until put in that situation, one can never fully display his true mentality. So too here, we require this person to show that he has realized that Hashem's will is first and foremost, and the only way to display that completely is by being placed in the same situation yet with a different mindset. May we all have the Siyata DeShmaya, heavenly help, to be able to nullify ourselves to the will of Hashem and perform his commandments to the utmost degree of perfection.