The story of how Avraham chose a wife for his son, Yitzchak, is fairly well known. Avraham has his head servant, Eliezer, head off to modern day Syria. Eliezer goes to a well, and prays to Hashem for a sign: if he asks a girl for water, and she also gives water to his ten camels, then she will be the right girl for Yitzchak. Not two seconds later, Rivkah comes to the well, Eliezer asks her for some water, and Rivkah gives to him and his camels. They go to Rivkah’s house, we are introduced to Lavan (and his father Betuel, briefly), and Rivkah heads to Avraham’s house with Eliezer, never to return.

In that last paragraph, I said the name “Eliezer” on four different occasions. This is strange, though, because the name “Eliezer” does not occur in the entire Parashah. Instead, he is referred to simply as HaEved, the servant. Why is his name never given, and what does that tell us about the story?

While Eliezer’s name never appears in this Parashah, it does occur earlier in Parashat Lech Lecha, in Perek 15, just after the War of the Four Kings. There, Avraham laments that he is childless and that all his possessions will be inherited by his steward, Eliezer of Damascus. Chazal explain that this same Eliezer is sent by Avraham in Parashat Chayei Sarah to find a bride for Yitzchak. This makes sense; Avraham would send his most trusted servant for the most important task. The real question is why this is not stated explicitly.

Before Yitzchak was born, Eliezer was Avraham’s heir. Avraham says as much in Perek 15. Avraham was very rich from the gifts given to him when he left Egypt, and Eliezer would inherit them all. Then Yitzchak was born. Suddenly, there was a new heir, and as the actual son of Avraham and Sarah, Yitzchak would inherit the entire estate, leaving Eliezer with nothing. Eliezer would have good reason to resent Yitzchak, even hate him.

Then, Avraham comes to Eliezer and asks him to find Yitzchak a wife. Suddenly, Eliezer has been ordered to help the person who ruined everything for him. When Eliezer begins recounting the story to Betuel’s household, he begins it by saying that Avraham has given everything he has to Yitzchak. Avraham also has Eliezer swear not to have Yitzchak marry a Canaani, and assures him that Hashem will make sure he succeeds. Rashi (BeReishit 24:39 s.v. Ulai Lo Teileich Ha’Ishah Acharai) explains that Eliezer had been hoping to fail, so that his own daughter could marry Yitzchak. True, he himself would not inherit from Avraham, but that way, Avraham’s wealth would enter his family.

Under these circumstances, there are a lot of pressures pushing Eliezer to do the wrong thing. If he deliberately failed, his daughter might end up in a position of wealth and power. Even if he was not as malicious as that, he still could have invested less effort, and found Yitzchak a second-rate bride. But that is not what Eliezer did. Instead, he put in maximum effort: he staged elaborate tests, he requested help from Hashem, all to help someone who hurt him by existing. Eliezer ignores the pressures, and because of that, he is not Eliezer, the head of Avraham’s house who lost his inheritance when Yitzchak was born. He is Eved Avraham, Avraham’s loyal servant who will do anything to help him and his son, Yitzchak, even if at personal detriment.

We need to learn from Eliezer in our own lives. Sometimes, we face pressures pushing us the wrong way, where what would help us would hurt everyone else or violate the Torah. We need to stand firm and ignore ourselves to do the right thing.