2021/5782
n the beginning of Parashat VaYiShlach, Yaakov Avinu instructs his servants to tell Eisav: “עִם־לָבָן גרתי וָאֵחַר עַד־עָתה,” “I stayed with Lavan and remained with him until now” (Bereishit 32:5). This would be a seemingly normal statement if it were in the context of two close brothers. However, being that Yaakov and Eisav hadn’t spoken in years, it doesn’t make sense for Yaakov’s first words to Eisav to be that he lived with Lavan. What is the purpose of this seemingly unnecessary statement by Yaakov?
According to Rashi, Yaakov tells Eisav that he lived with Lavan because the word “גרתי” is the Gematria equivalent of 613. By using this language, Yaakov is hinting to Eisav that even though he was in the presence of Lavan, he still kept the Mitzvot and didn’t learn from Lavan’s actions. However, Rav Meir Shapiro comments on the fact that Yaakov didn’t learn from Lavan’s actions that Yaakov makes this declaration in order to give himself Mussar. The Mussar was that he kept the Mitzvot with Lavan but he failed in one aspect: Yaakov didn’t learn from the actions of Lavan. How could this possibly be a failure? Doesn’t that sound like it’s showing a most admirable aspect of the greatness of Yaakov?
Rav Shapiro answers, Yaakov Avinu should have learned from Lavan in that when Lavan served his idols, he did it with an incredible alacrity. Although he believed in the wrong thing he was deeply dedicated to that in which he believed. Even though Yaakov Avinu observed all the Mitzvot in the presence of Lavan, he should have done them with his best effort and Mesirat Nefesh through the hardships.
We should run after Mitzvot with eagerness. We should not be influenced by other nations who chase after the wrong things. Furthermore, Yaakov Avinu says that he dwelled with Lavan, to hint to Eisav that although Yaakov lived with Lavan, Eisav is still his master. Yaakov was afraid of Eisav and unlike Lavan, he didn’t fully stand for what he believed in. Instead of having the committed mindset of Lavan, Yaakov felt like he had to tell Eisav that he was his master in order to protect himself instead of trusting Hashem will provide protection.
The Ohr HaChaim poses another question: What precisely did Yaakov tell Eisav in this speech that Eisav did not already know?
One suggestion from the Ohr HaChaim is the custom between brothers who are on good terms with one another to exchange details about their experiences in life. Yaakov Avinu may have done this in order to show that he considered himself on good terms with Eisav. In addition, Yaakov may have acted in a clever manner: He implied that there was no point in Eisav behaving with hostility, because Lavan had already tried this for many years and it had not at all benefited him. The words “עם לבן גרתי” were a veiled reference to the wickedness of that man. If Yaakov, after so many years in the house of Lavan, returned now as a wealthy man with a large family, it is proof that it paid to be on good terms with him. He added: “ואחר עד עתה,” “I delayed my return until now,” meaning that his wealth had not been acquired in a short period of time, rather his success had been ongoing throughout all the years he was with Lavan. When he added that he had acquired a substantial amount of wealth, he only hinted to it and he also referred to himself as "a servant." His words were designed to melt even a heart of stone.
From this episode of Yaakov and Eisav, one can see the importance of building a relationship with their siblings. Even though Yaakov was embroiled in a huge fight with Eisav, he still found a way to appease Eisav despite his wickedness. Although two siblings may be in a fight, they share an eternal bond binding them together. Be’Ezrat Hashem, all of Klal Yisrael should be reunited and be Zocheh to treat each other as brothers and achieve an impressive Achdut between our nation’s members.