5784/2024
Imagine parent teacher conferences:
“Mrs. Goldberg, I’m growing concerned about your son.”
“Rabbi, what seems to be the matter?”
“Well, I’ve noticed he has some unhealthy dietary habits.“
“I see. Anything else?“
“Actually, yes. He seems to be getting involved in a bit of crime as well. A bit of thievery, pickpocketing - you know, that kind of thing.“
“Oh my. That’s concerning. I hope that’s it though.“
“I’m afraid not. He seems to be developing some murderous tendencies as well. He’s becoming a serious threat.“
“Oh my. I guess it can’t get any worse than that!“
“Since you mentioned it, Mrs. Goldberg, there is actually one more thing. It seems that he’s not reviewing for his weekly Gemara quizzes.”
“WHAT?! You must be kidding Rabbi! I can’t believe it! I’m beside myself! Whatever shall I do?”
We would be quite surprised with such an exchange. Yet, Chazal explain the progressively destructive habits of the Ben Soreir U’Moreh: he will use up his parent’s money in pursuit of his bad habits, he will rob and kill, and eventually, he will forget his Torah learning. (Yerushalmi Sanhedrin 8:7) The first few items are understandably concerning. Compared to those, it is difficult to understand why forgetting his studies even makes the list.
Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz (Sichos Mussar 95) explains that even as the Ben Soreir U’Moreh murders and steals, there is still hope, and he can still do teshuva. However, when he becomes detached from the Torah, he loses access to his route of return.
We find ourselves in the month of Elul, and many of us don’t know where to begin the process of Teshuvah. The Mesillat Yesharim, the classic Mussar work, is built on the famous statement of Chazal which begins, “Torah study brings one to be more careful with his behavior.“ It’s true that repentance is a process, but the first step is clear: add more Torah study to your day. Find a Chavrusah, learn the laws of proper speech five minutes a day, read a thought on the weekly Parashah during lunch, join the Daf HaYomi, listen to a shiur in the car - the venue and duration will of course need to be personalized for each individual. However, the strategy is universal: learning more Torah will have a holistic effect on one’s service of Hashem.
If Torah study can reverse the trajectory of a Ben Soreir U’Moreh, it can certainly jump-start the self improvement that we’ve been waiting for.