. This piece is an expansion of a Dvar Torah Yaakov delivered at his wedding be”H on Erev Rosh Chodesh Nissan 2017/5777.
2021/5781
A widespread Minhag exists to break a glass underneath the Chuppah at Jewish weddings. After the recitation of the Sheva Brachot, the seven blessings made upon the commencement of the marriage, and the drinking of the wine over which these blessings were made, the Jewish marriage ceremony concludes in dramatic fashion with the Chatan stepping upon a cup of glass—often during or immediately subsequent to the saying or singing of the verses, “Im EShkacheich Yerushalayim TiShkach Yemini TiDbak Leshoni LeChiki Im Lo EZkireiti Im Lo A’Aleh Et Yerushalayim Al Rosh Simchati,” “If I forget thee O Jerusalem, may my right hand lose its strength; let my tongue cleave to the roof of my palate if I do not remember thee, if I do not raise thee, O Jerusalem, above the height of my joy” (Tehillim 137:5-6). Although mention of this custom surprisingly does not appear at all among the writings of the Rambam, Rosh, Rif, or Tur, this familiar Minhag has both ancient roots and rich symbolism. Understandably, the prevalent assumption is that this striking practice is a sign of mourning for the Churban Beit HaMikdash, the destruction of the Temple. However, despite the existence of precedents and proofs in favor of this approach among the literature of the Rishonim and Acharonim, a fuller analysis of this topic reveals a more complex picture: it is not obviously the case that this Minhag is based exclusively in commemoration of the Churban HaBayit, or even in customs of mourning at all.
In a general sense, there are three primary ways of understanding the nature of the Minhag of breaking a glass at the Jewish wedding. In one respect, as just mentioned, it is possible to understand this custom as an expression of mourning over the destruction of the Beit HaMikdash, and that it is essentially a practical manifestation of the message of the Pesukim in Tehillim to constantly recall and commemorate the Churban HaBayit and the degradation of Yerushalayim from its spiritual heights of old even during the moments of our greatest joy. In another respect, it is possible to understand that the Minhag of breaking the glass is not a sign of mourning at all, but a manifestation of HitMatnut HaSimchah, temperance and limitation of unbridled joy – a sort of visceral reminder against loss of self-control during times of celebration. As we will see, according to this second approach, it is possible to understand the custom of breaking the glass as still being connected in a practical way to the notion of the Chruban HaBayit, but it is also possible to distinguish these two concepts from one another. Finally, from a third perspective, it is possible to understand that the Minhag of breaking the glass has a compound nature, which comprises themes of temperance along with themes of exile and redemption in both personal and national respects.